Chapter eighteen, in which We Live in the World of the Greenhouse Story
Have you ever been in a big glasshouse full of large plants and a pond? If so, what words spring to your mind? How would you describe what it is like to be in a greenhouse to someone who has never been in one? Maybe you would use words like “still”, “silent”, “heavy”, “sweaty”, “muffled”, “warm”, and “really calm”?
Well, that’s how it was in the park greenhouse after Dave the Cleaner swallowed the key to the door. No leaf stirred. No branch waved. No water rippled. No air seemed to move. Nothing made a sound. In other words, everything remained the same in the greenhouse as before. Even Dave the Cleaner and Dave the Cleaner stood unmoving, just looking at each other.
One seemed to smile in a puzzled way at the other.
One seemed to smirk in a cocky way at the other.
Both seemed surprised at what at happened.
Finally one broke the heavy, muffled silence of the greenhouse.
“Uuuum… Why did you just swallow the key to the door?”
“Huh! It’s all your fault. You made me do it, Mahoe Dave the Cleaner. I had to do it to stop you wrecking the peace and quiet and tidiness of the greenhouse by leaving the door open! I say the key is gone as long as humans shall live!”
“Ummm, what’s say we remove a pane of glass and get out that way?”
“Bah! This greenhouse is made of no ordinary glass. I invented this glass myself and it is so tough that not even I can break it. I love to watch silly people throwing bricks at this glass to smash it until they are exhausted. Go on! Try it, silly Mahoe Dave the Cleaner! I dare you to!”
Dave the Cleaner did not take up the challenge. Instead he strolled to a bench to reflect on the problem. “What’s the story of greenhouses? Who can we ask?” he murmured.
He was still holding the bag of park litter. It rustled and crackled softly as he sat down. “Ah yes, our friends, the children of the Mahoe tree. How could I forget you?” he whispered. “Are we to be stuck in this glass bubble till we die? What should we do and where should we go? How do greenhouses really operate?”
Dave the Cleaner was now marching around the large pond in the greenhouse. “Bah!” he grumped “Bah! I don’t like this silence. I don’t like any silence. So boring, boring! Anyway I need food and I am going get food come what may! Huh! And here it is. Mine, all mine.” He had spotted the rainbow flash of a fish under the giant tropical lily leaves in the pond. He broke off the dried stalk of a lily flower, made a spear of it and set about hunting the fish. “Ha Ha Ha! Mine, all mine!”
Dave the Cleaner sat on the bench listening to the stillness. “What’s the story, morning glory? What’s the tale, nightingale?” he asked. He knew the nightingale is famous for singing cheerful songs to remind people how to sing joyful songs when it hears them singing too many sad songs. So now he just sat listening, listening, listening. He just trusted the answer would come if he gave the time to listening to all…
“The wind blows far
The winds blows high
The window is
The wind’s own eye.
The wind blows near
The wind blows low
Just open wide
Your window…”
Both Dave the Cleaners heard the distant singing in the same instant.
“Bah, Those pesky songs sound like those nuisance kids from Mahoe classroom or something again,” one of them sniffed, “Five-year olds know nothing, just nothing! And look, yahoo! I got food!” He was so excited to spear a fish he completely forgot about the songs.
“Hmmm, could it be possible this greenhouse has a window to freedom somewhere? Thanks children of the Mahoe tree,” one of them sighed with relief. “Yes, maybe its time for a little explore of this greenhouse world and see what gives.” Still humming the songs, he stood up and began to stroll around investigating the plants, the pond and the soils. He was also interested to find out how a greenhouse actually works. Then, near the far end of the greenhouse, he encountered a most curious object. It appeared at first glance to be a large stack of bricks all overgrown with plants.
“Hey, what on Earth is this? Why, look at this old sign saying “Coal Bin”“. And look beside the coal bin, here is an ancient brick furnace with a broken off chimney. It looks older than our great, great, great, great grandparents. What is it doing in a greenhouse?”
“Huh! A fireplace! Just what I need. Somewhere to cook my fish on!”
“How can you cook on it? It doesn’t even have a proper chimney anymore. What will you burn and where will all the smoke go?”
“I don’t care. I am hungry. I need food and that’s all the matters. I will burn all the dead branches and leaves I can find. Hah! And I can burn your stinky old bag of park litter too…and the benches too if I need!”
With that, Dave the Cleaner began stumping around the greenhouse breaking off any dead plants he could find and stacking them in the fireplace.
Meanwhile Dave the Cleaner began gently lifting the plants out of the fireplace so they would not get too damaged by the heat and flames. It was while he was doing this to protect the plants that he uncovered a mysterious sign above the coal bin.
“Would you believe it? Here is an ancient wooden sign saying “There will be 1000 lashes with a whip in the morning for any child who dares to go to sleep tonight and let the fire go out!!!” Why? Why? Why would anyone be so cruel and heartless to a child like that?”
Dave the Cleaner threw another armful of dead twigs down. He happened to know the answer to this question and now he put his nose in the air in a most superior, know-it-all way. “I see nothing wrong with it. Back in the olden days there were no fast ships and jets to carry flowers and foods like pineapples and tomatoes from warmer lands to cooler lands. So some rich people in cooler lands built large greenhouses like this. They used furnaces like this to keep the plants warm day and night when it frosted and snowed outside. They found poor, homeless children sleeping out in the cold snow and let them stay inside the greenhouse as long as they never went to sleep and let the fire go out. I say that is a nice, simple good deal for all! Rich person keeps poor child alive while poor child keeps pineapple alive for rich person.”
“Ummm. Ummm. Err..Should we ask the children of the Mahoe tree what questions they might ask about that?”
“Bah, forget pesky Mahoe kids. Five year-old children know nothing! Anyway nowadays some of us humans are so much more clever. We don’t need kids any more because, watch, I flip this big switch on, somewhere out there a big machine starts burning coal or something and making electricity and, hey presto, this big electric fan heater starts whirring…”
Sure enough. As soon as Dave the Cleaner turned on the big switch attached to the metal box hanging from the ceiling, it began to glow red, a motor began roaring and hot air wafted all over them.
“Don’t you think the motor is rather loud – we have to shout to hear each other over it?”
“I cannot hear the motor at all! Anyway I like shouting like this.”
“Umm, well, how is it you locked the greenhouse door because the sound of the wind and the rain outside hurts your ears and yet you don’t mind this noisy heater?”
“I cannot hear you! I like this. It proves how clever some of us adults are. Huh! Now you just watch me make instant fire. See this rubbish magazine page about Global Warming that blew out of your stinky old bag of park litter. Well, just watch me make fire in a flash! I just poke it inside the electric heater like this…”
“Please, please, wait, wait… is it wise to meddle with electricity like that? Can’t electricity kill us all?”
Too late. Dave the Cleaner poked the paper in the grill of the heater and touched the red hot element. The page erupted in flame. Something went crackle… splut…splut… BANG inside the heater. Something went BOOM in the far distance outside the greenhouse. The motor whined down and became silent. The red glow faded into smoky black.
Meanwhile, “AAAAGH!! EEEEEK! OUUUUUCH! HOTTTTT!!” Dave the Cleaner was too busy to notice the BANGS and BOOMS because he was racing with the flaming scrap of paper to the brick furnace to start a fire before it burned his hand. Then he was too busy frantically puffing and panting on its last spluttering flame in a desperate attempt to set fire to his precious pile of dead twigs and leaves. Then he was too busy running around the greenhouse shouting “A pot! A tin! My kingdom for something, anything to cook my fish in…”
Meanwhile Dave the Cleaner picked up his bag of park litter and continued exploring the greenhouse. He knew there were not enough fish in the pond to keep even one person alive very long. Perhaps there was better food in the greenhouse they could eat.
Suddenly the bag of litter seemed to rustle in his hand as he walked past a compost bin. “Haha, Mahoe children. What’s the story, morning glory?” he sang as he looked more carefully at the compost heap. It was then he spotted a morning glory plant. “Aha,” he exclaimed. “Sweet potatoes growing in the compost. Hey, we can have a good source of food here if we care for it.”
“Bah! You can eat rubbish out of the compost heap, Mahoe Dave the Cleaner. I will have you know I deserve much better. I have fire and I have fish to fry. I deserve to live like a king and I will.”
And so for many, long days and nights the Dave the Cleaner and Dave the Cleaner managed to survive in the greenhouse together. To cut a long story short, they led very different lives.
“Flush! Flush! Flush! Hehehe. Mine, all mine! Stoke! Stoke! Crackle! Sizzle! Crunch, crunch, yum. Cough! Choke! Cough!”
Dave the Cleaner spent his days prowling around the pool with his fish spear and searching for anything he could burn on his fire. Soon he had burned all the wooden seats and began what he called “harvesting” the plants. First he broke all the biggest leaves off and stacked them in piles to dry them for burning. He then began breaking off all the low branches he could reach for firewood.
He did not seem to notice that the air became murky with smoke and the glass walls and ceiling became coated with black soot. However he was very jealous about his fireplace and guarded it all the time. He even had a sign on the broken furnace on which he had written in soot: “MINE! ALL MINE! NO STINKY COMPOST ON MY FIRE”
“Clean. Clean. Clean. Let the sun shine in, the sunshine in. Hello worms…some food for you. Greetings plants…a wee drink for you. Yum, thank you sweet potato. Cough! Choke! Cough!”
Dave the Cleaner gave his days to caring for his sweet potato crop. He collected little leaves and twigs that fell from the broken plants to feed the compost. He watered it when it looked thirsty. Each day he wiped the soot off the glass walls of the greenhouse to let the sunlight bathe the plant leaves and their soils with its warmth. Maybe you are asking how he cooked his meals?
Well, that is a question he asked the children of the Mahoe tree and, you guessed it, the bag of park litter rustled and crackled in reply. When he peered inside he saw bits of shiny, aluminum foil, an empty tin and a cracked mirror. He had noticed the back of the brick furnace was warmed-up by both the fire and the sunlight. So each day he put some sweet potato and a little water in the tin. This he placed against the warmed bricks. He shaped the shiny foil and pieces of mirror around it so they reflected the sunlight onto the tin all day.
“Doh! You’re a weird one, Mahoe Dave the Cleaner,” scoffed Dave the Cleaner each day. “Always telling stories using bits of litter, always playing with chunks of rubbish and now you are eating compost. I bet the Mahoe kids would fall over laughing if they could see what a strange fool they have created. Hahaha.”
“Ah, time will tell. Meanwhile this sweet potato tastes so delicious,” smiled Dave the Cleaner.
Maybe you have seen where this story is going? Who is more wise? Who is more foolish? Perhaps it is helpful to think of something else every human needs to do. Yes, what goes in us, must come out of us, whether it be air or water or food. Well, it so happens there was an ancient toilet tucked in the corner of the greenhouse.
Dave the Cleaner had been very excited to discover it. In fact he was so excited he had completely forgotten he had swallowed the key to the greenhouse door. He made a big sign saying, “BY ORDER! ALWAYS FLUSH TOILET AFTER USE!” He then gave Mahoe Dave the Cleaner a good talking-to in his most know-all way. “Right! Now pay attention to me! I have made these rules to keep us safe from germs. No flush, no use!”
“Ummm, have you noticed there is no water coming into the toilet cistern?”
“It does not matter! We can take it from the pond instead!”
“Ummm, have you noticed there is no water coming into the pond?”
“Huh! I can just turn on the electric motor that pumps the water then.”
“Ummm, have you forgotten? Something went BOOM! when you messed with the electric heater and the electrical wires all somehow burned and broke.”
“Bah! I am sick of you and all your pesky questions. You are as bad as the five year olds in Mahoe class!”
“Ummm, er, ummm, where does all the stuff in the toilet go? Just wondering.”
“Grrrr! Use your eyes! The toilet pipes go to outside the greenhouse. That’s all that matters! I don’t care where the stuff in the toilet goes. I just want it gone somewhere, somehow!”
“Soooo, ummm, errr… Does that mean the key to the greenhouse that you swallowed might now have gone right through you and be outside somewhere, somehow, like anywhere?”
“Questions! Always pesky questions, Mahoe Dave the Cleaner. I don’t care where the key is. All that matters is I am the real Dave the Cleaner and you are just a make believe thing dreamed up by a bunch of five year-old kids in Mahoe classroom. I might be stuck with you wherever I go but I am boss!”
Well, as you have probably worked out, each Dave the Cleaner had a different attitude to everything. And you perhaps now you can see even more clearly where this story is going?
What happened to the pond? You would be right to think the water level in the pond dropped every time Dave the Cleaner flushed another bucket of it down the toilet to where he did not know.
What happened to the fish and pond plants? Again you would be right if you guessed Dave the Cleaner did not even notice the pond shrinking to a puddle. In fact he chortled, “Hahaha! Mine! All mine! The less water there is, the easier it is for me to hunt the fish so I can eat them! Its bad enough I am busy most of the time these days having to search for stuff to burn on the fire so I can cook them!”
Meanwhile Dave the Cleaner was also very busy. Often he stopped what he was doing and listened, listened, listened. You may well be right if he was listening for the distant singing of the children of the Mahoe tree. Then he would carry on singing snippets of songs.
“Let the sunshine in, let the sunshine in, the sunshine in…” he sang every day as he clambered around the greenhouse cleaning the glass walls and ceilings. He became very skilled at climbing taller plants without damaging them. He wiped and scraped the grime, soot, moss and water off the glass panes onto a special tray and then spread it carefully over the soil to feed the plants.
Instead of flushing the water of the pond away down the toilet pipe, he carefully collected his wees, mixed it with water and also gave it to the soils and plants.
He carefully collected and stored his poos in a large drum. Each time he gave care to covering them with just the right amount of twigs and leaves to make sure they would compost safely.
The nights in the greenhouse became longer and colder. The days became shorter and colder. Some days the glass panels appeared to turn to water falls but no raindrops fell on the sad, yellowing leaves and blackening branches. No raindrops marked the dry mud on the bottom of the pool. Some nights the smoke from the tiny fire appeared to shiver in the still, cold air. Both Dave the Cleaners tried to sleep by huddling near the brick furnace, one on the hearth in front of the fire and one against the bricks at the back of the furnace.
Dave the Cleaner became grumpier and grumpier. “Bah! Choke! Cough! I blame you for everything, Mahoe Dave the Cleaner. I say you have been messing with The Sun again. And look at this tiny, muddy puddle. I say you have taken nearly all the pond water so there are hardly any fish left. I am sure you must have been using it up doing your stupid experiments. Choke! Cough! And the air in here stinks. I make all these rules to keep the place clean and warm and tidy while, choke, gag, you muck it all up. This mess is entirely your fault! It’s about time you grew up and acted like a proper adult. Stop singing your childish songs, face reality and take responsibility for your actions!”
“Ummm…what if…errr..What if the real world does not work like a greenhouse? What say there is more to life than living in a greenhouse world? What’s all the story of the winds and the stars?”
“Duh, stupid, I know all the story I need to know. I say living in a nice, peaceful, calm greenhouse is the best story. End of story. Now I am very busy keeping this place going, so stop interrupting me with your childish questions. I have got a lot of digging to get on with.”
“Are you digging a tunnel so we can get out?”
“Of course not, Mahoe twit. I just told you living in a greenhouse world is the best! I happen to know there is coal and oil in the ground that I can burn, burn, burn and, hah, its mine, all mine! And when it is all burned, I will just keep digging because I know everything is super hot deep, deep down in the ground anyway. Out of my way. I am busy, busy business!”
With that, Dave the Cleaner picked up a shovel and began digging a hole in dried mud of the pond. Soon he was out of sight below the ground and the only sign of his existence was the growing mountain of rocks and rubble he kept tossing up into the greenhouse. Soon he was so deep he did not know whether it was day or night. So he never stopped digging.
Meanwhile Dave the Cleaner danced and dodged the flying rocks erupting out of the hole. He too was busy, busy, busy caring for the plants. He carefully removed any rocks that landed on top of them and carried them up the pile of rubble where he built a shelter with them. He constantly cleaned the panes of glass to let the Moon, the Sun and other stars shine in. Sometimes he gave time to sitting in the shelter and listening in silence. Often such times in the depths of the night he imagined he heard the distant sounds of the children of the Mahoe tree singing, always reminding him of a more fun world beyond the greenhouse:
“Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How we wonder what you are!
Up above our world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How we wonder what you are…”
End Chapter eighteen
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Please note: this is a first draft script (Jan 2020) and prototype format of How the Children of the Mahoe Tree Saved Our World. I plan to create illustrations to complement each chapter as soon as possible.
Please enjoy tolerance – my diplopia means I struggle to read what I write.
This story is based on a true event. A class of five-year olds created the central plot. In the process they showed young children, unlike many adults, retain the vital spirit of inquiry and comprehension of the fundamental thermodynamics required to care for Earth’s atmosphere.
Some grand ideas and questions from Chapter Eighteen
Idea: Pending 23 June 2020
Question: Pending
Forward to Chapter 19 in which we venture beyond the greenhouse world
Back to Chapter 17 to how we became trapped in the greenhouse.