Chapter fifteen Big troubles for messing with our sunlight
Dave the Cleaner lay wedged under the park bench for what seemed a very long time. He still struggled to believe he was seeing sunlight and hearing the laughter of children and feeling warmed-up in his clothes stuffed with rubbish. He had nearly lost hope this could ever happen again.
He continued to lay under the park bench enjoying these feelings and sounds until he became aware of of an approaching rumble of adult voices. They seemed to be making a grumpy rumble, even an angry grumble. Only then did he remember his very important Clean, Clean Image. ” Agh! I had better get out from under this park bench in a hurry before anyone sees me like this,” he said in alarm and, with enormous grunting, heaving, pushing and squeezing, he managed to squirm and rolly-polly his way out from under the park bench.
To his astonishment almost everything appeared normal. The Sun was shining as it usually it did this time of the year, the trees and the grass were green, children scooted and skated past and Mahoe Dave the Cleaner sat on the park bench clutching his bag of litter. There were no signs of his confounded pipe ladder and his magic buckets.
It was only after he had sat down on the other end of the park bench that he became aware again of the grumpy rumble of adults and noticed a small group of them approaching the park bench in a most determined way.
They included the family with the two children and tagging along behind was five-year-old girl on the scooter.
The small group stopped in front of them, peered briefly in amazement at one Dave the Cleaner and then glared at the other Dave the Cleaner.
Now, as we well know, most days they looked almost identical to each other. However in this moment, one appeared to be a red-faced, sweating, smelly, overstuffed scarecrow that was about to go pop. The other appeared quite normal except for some weird reason he clutched a bag of rubbish. So they ignored the strange dummy and addressed the normal-looking, old man in no uncertain terms.
What follows is a very brief account of a very confused, fiery discussion. Many spoke at once. It is hard to know who said what. So we will just call them “The Crowd”.
The Crowd. “Hey you! What’s the meaning of all this! What’s the story!”
Dave the Cleaner. “Oh, everything is a story and no one knows the whole story. Even each piece of litter in this bag surely has a story to tell.”
The Crowd. “No! No! You idiot. What is the meaning of all this wild weather! One minute the sunlight is boiling hot. The next minute it’s freezing cold. What have you been up to. Explain it.
Dave the Cleaner. “Ummm. Maybe some humans have been burning too much stuff and messing around with the sunlight?”
The Crowd among themselves. “Bah! Humans can’t do that. Yes we can. No we can’t. Yes we can. Impossible. Haven’t you heard about Global Warming – it’s bad! No its good! I say Global Warming is real. I say it’s not!…”
The argument was long. It was followed by an even longer silence. Finally it was broken by the voice of a parent.
“You told us your mate called Mahoe Dave the Cleaner had climbed up a magical pipe ladder to the Sun and thrown a whole lot of firewood on it.”
“Yes,” said his child. “You told me he wanted to heat the Sun up to prove warming and warming-up are two different processes cos a lot of people don’t understand that.”
Dave the Cleaner: “I did not tell you that story though I am the story. However it is true it is the way of the universe that if something is not cooling same is its warming, then it is warming up, up, up until soon it is no more.”
The Crowd. (after much head scratching) ” Oi! You told this little girl on the scooter that your friend was getting a bucket of water from the park pool to put out the Sun.”
Dave the Cleaner.”Again I did not tell you that story though I am the story. However it is true it is the way of the universe that if something is not warming the same is its cooling, then it is cooling down, down, down until soon it is no more.”
Again the crowd began arguing if Global Warming is good or bad until a small voice called out. It was the voice of the five-year old on the scooter. Five year-olds can be very good at noticing small differences in how people speak and move.
“Wait, wait,” she called out, “this is the man in the story who collected the bucket of water to put out the Sun. The other man was the one telling the story.”
The Crowd. “Hahahahaha. He is but a scarerow. Hahaha. He is not real. Hahaha. What does a stuffed dummy know. Oooh, he stinks of dog poo too…”
Dave the Cleaner had sat as quiet as a mouse at a cat’s picnic up till now. He had not noticed when he had fell off the bench from laughing at Mahoe Dave the Cleaner earlier that he had landed in dog poo. He had also forgotten he was indeed stuffed full of garbage like a dummy. He had been more than happy to let Mahoe Dave the Cleaner face the small crowd of argumentative adults. So he had sat watching the argument and smirking to himself, “ Bah, haha, teach that fool Mahoe Dave the Cleaner to mess with the sunlight like that.”
Now, suddenly, the crowd was looking at him, laughing and jeering. “Hahaha, come on Mr Ruddy, Old, Stinky Scarecrow, tell us your story. We are all ears, haha, we mean noses.”
Dave the Cleaner had been so busy listening to the argument he had quite forgotten his strange, puffed-up appearance. He was now so overheating he was sure his brain must surely melt like a lemon iceblock in the sun. His tongue was so dry it stuck to the roof of his mouth and his words came out all fuzzy.
“Well,” he gulped in a high, tight voice, “I want you to know I am the really true Dave the Cleaner and he is just a make-believe Dave the Cleaner made up by the five-year old kids in Mahoe classroom to save me when I dreamed I turned into a liquid and he has two magic buckets that makes anything last forever…”
By now the adults in the crowd were laughing so hard they struggled not to fall over. “Hahaha, so if this man here is Dave the Cleaner , then you must be Dave the Dirty hahaha… hey yeah, Mr Stinky Dave the Dirty, you have been very quiet. ..Yeah, tell us what you think. Do you believe Global Warming is good or bad?”
This question caused Dave the Cleaner to become super red hot and bothered. His face went in circles as he tried to think of an answer. He wriggled and crackled and rustled. He swelled up so huge that some adults in the crowd stepped back and shielded their children in their alarm that he might explode, covering them all with smelly, pongy rubbish.
Way back in his mind he could hear the echo of those pesky songs.
Way front of his mind he saw his sparkling-perfect Clean, Clean Image vanishing like a puff of smoke on a breeze. For some strange reason one of his hands felt burning, red hot while his other hand felt clammy cold.
“Woe is I,”he worried to himself, “Already the adults in this crowd think I am an idiot. Some will scorn me if I say Global Warming is bad. Others will scorn me if I say Global Warming is good. Probably all will scorn me if I dare say Global Warming is not Global Warming-Up, if I dare say one is OK, the other is not.”
Finally, after much such worrying, he coughed in a most important manner to get attention, “Ahem, Ahem.” The small crowd became silent. He put on his most know-all voice and announced, “I have considered your question. I answer you thus: if adults all agree warming is the same as warming-up and that warming is bad, then that is all that matters.”
There was a long silence. Dave the Cleaner adjusted the rubbish inside his jacket to puff up his chest so he appeared a little more grand and important. He gazed down his nose at the crowd in his most know-all manner and was pleased to see there was much nodding of heads among the adults. He did spot some of the children were not nodding. They instead stood looking puzzled. “Bah! What do they know and what do their opinions matter,” he comforted himself.
Most of the adults appeared pleased, and relieved too. They began to walk away in groups and he heard them saying to each other, “How can we be wrong when even the scarecrows agree with us.
That’s so right.
Yes, if we agree about what we say, surely that is all that matters.
Yep, everything is okay if we all know we mean warming-up when we say the word warming.”
Soon only the little five-year old girl on the scooter remained. She laughed and asked them, “Do you want to hear a big riddle I just made up? OK? OK. When is a bucket not a bucket?”
I don’t know. Tell me.” said both Dave the Cleaners together.
“When its inside another bucket, of course. OK? OK.
Now when is another bucket not a bucket?”
“Aha,” said Mahoe Dave the Cleaner, “is it when it’s the outside of another bucket that is inside it?”
The girl nodded with delight and all three laughed for no reason they knew of. She hopped on her scooter and, as she zoomed away, the two Dave the Cleaners heard her singing,
“Ladedadeday
It’s such a perfect day
A lovely, perfect day
Warming is cooling
Cooling is warming
Everything is warming
Everything is cooling
In such a perfect way..”
Dave the Cleaner and Dave the Cleaner sat in silence, smiling, watching her disappear. Each sat in their own world while cars continue to roar and spume around the distant edge of the park, jets flew high overhead leaving white trails, smoke from smouldering house fires drifted out of chimneys and the high chimney stacks of factories made their own clouds of yellow and brown against the sun in the sky.
Finally Dave the Cleaner said to Dave the Cleaner, “Well, my friend, we both know the deal. It is my turn to have tea with Mum and Dad and sleep in the bed tonight. However perhaps you better go home for tea with them instead tonight because, phew, you sure are going to need a shower eh”
“Bah! Don’t rub it in. I am so worried about my Clean, Clean Image now. Woe is I if anyone has recognised who I really am!
I’ll empty out all this rubbish I am wearing and chuck it in a park bin on the way. You can be sure of that!”
“Please don’t throw it away like that or I will have to go home first leaving you all stinky and cold out here in the dark till late. Take all the park litter out here and I will carefully store it all back in the bag. It is certain to have many more stories to tell us.”
And so it happened.
End Chapter Fifteen
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Please note: this is a first draft script (Jan 2020) and prototype format of How the Children of the Mahoe Tree Saved Our World. I plan to create illustrations to complement each chapter as soon as possible.
Please enjoy tolerance – my diplopia means I struggle to read what I write.
This story is based on a true event. A class of five-year olds created the central plot. In the process they showed young children, unlike many adults, retain the vital spirit of inquiry and comprehension of the fundamental thermodynamics required to care for Earth’s atmosphere.
Some grand ideas and questions from Chapter Fifteen
Idea: Pending 1 May 20
Question: Pending