Chapter eight, in which a great, stinking, rubbish debate occurs.
Is The Economy really a crazy Dis-economy?
Dave the Cleaner sat alone eating his breakfast at the table in his Mum and Dad’s kitchen.
Clatter, clatter went the washed dishes into the dish rack. That’s Dad.
Plink, plonk. Plink, plonk. Yes, that was the sound of Mum lifting up the ornaments, dusting them and replacing them on the shelves and window sills.
This was all so familiar to him.
Clonk. Clonk. This was another reassuring, familiar sound to him – the sound of the spoon tapping his false teeth. Or it seemed reassuring until with a jolt he remembered they were not his false teeth. They were Mahoe Dave the Cleaner’s false teeth he was wearing. Suddenly everything became bit strange and weird again. “Is this all a dream?” he asked himself. “Am I still in a dream? Am I awake? Or am I asleep?” He shook his head but found that did not help at all.
He realised Dad was waiting to wash his porridge plate and so he decided to concentrate on enjoying the rest of his porridge, dream or no dream.
After finishing his breakfast Dave the Cleaner decided to go to work-out in the nearby park in order to stretch his legs and have hard think about this very weird situation.
After finishing his breakfast Dave the Cleaner decided to go for a play in the nearby park in order to stretch his legs and to wonder about this rather fun situation.
One of them arrived at the park along time before the other one did. However that one saw the other one first from a long distance.
“Huh,” he said. “From a distance I thought I was seeing a large rabbit leaping and hopping all over the park. Now I see it is you. What on Earth are you doing?”
“Oh, I just saw people have littered the place with rubbish and so I am cleaning it up.”
“Well, I am really too busy for that. I am a school cleaner. Other people are paid to be street cleaners and park cleaners and river cleaners and beach cleaners. I leave it to them – they are the experts in their area.
Dave the Cleaner bent down, picked up an empty plastic bottle, a tin can and a torn sheet of newspaper. He had found a large plastic bag stuck in the fork of a tree and he placed this litter in it. It was now nearly full of things that rustled, clinked, clanked, some even stank.
“Ummm, what if,” he asked, “what if everyone were to be an expert at being cleaner? What if everyone was a Cleaner? Better still, what if everyone was a cleaner Cleaner?”
“Bah! Well, that cannot, will not, does not happen!”
“Who says human beings can’t be careful? Why can’t it happen?”
“Doh! It’s Economics pure and simple! We have no choice!”
“Excuse me, I have another question…”
“Bah! Seems you always have another question. You never let up!”
“What is Economics? Who says what pure, simple Economics is? Why is something economic?…”
“Enough of your questions before you do my head in. Everyone but everyone knows what Economics is. Listen to the experts on the radio. Watch very important people on television every day. They all know what Economics is. We all know what Economics is. Only an idiot doesn’t know what Economics is!”
Dave the Cleaner looked very sad for a moment but then his face brightened and he laughed, “Well, that means I am an idiot, an expert idiot. It seems to me we humans are a funny old lot and it takes all sorts of people to keep us all alive. I still don’t get why everyone can’t be a cleaner Cleaner. I still don’t get what Economics is.”
Dave the Cleaner, who had been going a bit red and angry with all these questions, suddenly felt calm and most superior. These questions just proved his belief that Mahoe Dave the Cleaner was indeed an idiot, an unreal idiot at that. He put his nose in the air, peered down it and sniffed. He spoke slowly with pauses between each word in his most, profound know-all way.
“Economics, “he sniffed, “Economics is what makes The Economy, stupid. And before you pester me by asking what The Economy is, I’ll have you know it’s a system for making money go around and around and making things for people to buy and sell so lots of people can have jobs and earn money so more money can go round and round. That’s what The Economy is, stupid. Its that simple!”
“Ummm, it still doesn’t make good sense to me. I still don’t understand. Why can’t anyone and everyone be an expert at being cleaner?”
“I just explained the reason. It’s simple Economics. Think about it. If everyone was cleaner, then they wouldn’t throw so much away and people wouldn’t get paid to make so many things and the money would stop going around and around and where would we be without money!”
Dave the Cleaner paused and stooped down to pick up some lolly wrappers, an empty cigarette packet and a toy train with a bent wheel. He did a little dance of joy. “Yahoo, hey, look, is not this a treasure? I can easily fix this wheel and make the train go again for some child.”
“Nope! You still don’t get it. That’s bad Economics. You must learn to think about and care for The Economy! If you fix that wheel, then the toy train makers will lose their jobs and so will the park cleaners and the money will stop going around and around.”
Again Dave the Cleaner looked sad and asked in a sorrowful way, “Why does caring for The Economy seem to make some part of me feel bad and unhappy? Why does some part of me feel really silly throwing this toy train back into the park garden?”
“Huh! Remember! There are always consequences for your actions. You should have thought of how The Economy will suffer before you picked up that rubbish. The Economy has laws or rules, just like schools have rules and children have to learn to obey them. Rules are rules! The Economy has rules about buying and selling things and, I warn you, if you break these rules, then the money stops going around and around. Mark my words, my foolish, careless friend.”
“Oh dear, I hear what you are saying. I should throw all the rubbish back where I found it in the park so the park cleaners can keep their jobs and make more money go round. I still don’t get it why I to feel so bad making The Economy can feel good. It feels silly, silly, silly. I would much rather play among trees and leaves and flowers and buzzing bees and butterflies and frogs and sparkling streams than among stinky, old rubbish everywhere.”
“Bah! That’s just how The Economy is and that’s that!”
Dave the Cleaner walked along with his nose held in the air feeling very important and know-all. He had shown that pesky Mahoe Dave the Cleaner he knew how everything works and this should shut his questions up once and for all.
Dave the Cleaner walked along with his nose twitching in the air as he tried to smell the fragrance of the flowers amidst the stink of the waste and air pollution. He now had so many more questions than ever to ask. Where did this word “economy” come from? Who decides what it means? It was obviously a very important word if it decides what people say and do.
He looked sideways at Dave the Cleaner and wondered if he would explode or something if he dared ask a few more questions. He decided to risk it because the pollution smelled badly wrong.”Hey, can’t you see all the waste and pollution? Can’t you smell the stinky air and mess? You say that being economic and The Economy is good for us. What do you reckon is the best name for something that wastes everything and makes a real bad mess?”
There was no answer. They walked along together, one in grumpy silence going “Hurrumph! Impossible! Make me sound stupid!” to himself, the other cheerfully chattering out aloud to himself.
“How about calling it a Not-Economy or a Non-Economy or an Un-Economy?”
“Hurrumph! Impossible! Make me sound stupid!”
“What’s say we call it The Bad Economy, or better still, The Dis-Economy?”
“Hurrumph! Impossible! Make me sound stupid!”
“Um, what name would the children of the Mahoe tree give such a system? Maybe The Silly System? The Stupid System? The Stinky System?”
“Hurrumph! Impossible! Make me sound stupid!”
“What about The GINORMOUS Waste?”
“Hurrumph! Impossible! Make me sound stupid!”
It became clear this conversation was going nowhere. So Dave the Cleaner decided to try a different line of questions.
“Hmmm. Why, where, how would we all be if there were no cleaners? Can you imagine a world without cleaners, especially cleaner cleaners? Would not The Economy make the planet so filthy that human beings would disappear?”
“Huh, I agree with you for once. Yes, we cleaners are very, very important people indeed!”
“Wow, then don’t you find it bit funny and puzzling?”
“I see nothing funny or puzzling about it!”
“Well, if we cleaners are doing a truly important job, why are cleaners paid the least money?”
“Bah! The answer is simple. It’s The Economy, stupid! The Economy knows anyone and everyone can be a cleaner. So it decides cleaners have to be paid only a small amount of money.”
“Wait a mo, this may seem an idiot question. How does The Economy decide?”
“Agh! Idiot. Clever people called Economists who know a lot about The Economy decide, of course. That’s who. Also experts on cleaners and very important people decide.”
“Ah, people like us cleaners?”
There was no answer, only the sounds of their footsteps in the silence that followed. Dave the Cleaner spotted some plastic supermarket bags littering a flower garden. As of his nature, he immediately bent down to pick them up but stopped. He remembered he was a school cleaner, not a park cleaner. This was not his job. “But,” a voice in him whispered, ” do the trees and shrubs and worms the birds really care who picks up the litter?” He felt the answer was no.
Confused and conflicted, he left the litter on the ground and hurried to catch up Dave the Cleaner who seemed not to have even seen the mess. He would give one last attempt to understand this thing that many adults call The Economy.
“I still don’t get it all. Just one more time. Please tell me where I am going wrong and where I am going right,” he implored.
“Huh, only if you keep your confounded questions brief!”
“It’s a deal. OK. First, are cleaner people really bad for The Economy?”
“Of course! They make less litter and waste to be cleaned up by proper cleaners.”
“Are more wasteful people good for The Economy?”
“Yes. Correct again. They make more jobs for people to make more stuff and clean up more rubbish?”
“So does this mean people who are cleaner are bad but people who are cleaners are good?”
“That’s right but only special people who are paid to clean up a special mess are good. For instance, I am paid to clean up a school type mess. ”
“So does this mean its bad for The Economy if a person cleans up rubbish in the park just because he or she enjoys caring for the trees and birds and insects?”
“Bah, Like I keep saying, ‘It’s The Economy, Stupid.’ The Economy knows best. It does not care, just as long as we all obey its laws and rules.”
Together they walked towards a distant park bench for a rest, for both were tired after this conversation and anyone would be weary after being in such a big dream in the night, as they had been.
“Confounded children of the Mahoe classroom,” Dave the Cleaner grumped to himself.
“ Tell me, children of the Mahoe tree, is it me that is stupid or is it this thing called The Economy that is stupid?” Dave the Cleaner asked the universe.
End Chapter Eight
……………………………………………………….
Please note: this is a first draft script (Jan 2020) and prototype format of How the Children of the Mahoe Tree Saved Our World. I plan to create illustrations to complement each chapter as soon as possible.
Please enjoy tolerance – my diplopia means I struggle to read what I write.
This story is based on a true event. A class of five-year olds created the central plot. In the process they showed young children, unlike many adults, retain the vital spirit of inquiry and comprehension of the fundamental thermodynamics required to care for Earth’s atmosphere.
Some grand ideas and questions from Chapter Eight
Idea: pending
Question: pending